Lot that happens daily !!!

There is so much activity around me these days. Discussions, decisions, arguments, sympathy, concern, fear, anxiety, confusion and what not. Believe me, the list is still incomplete. Before you guess let me clear it to you that my house is not Aam Aadmi Party's headquarter where you can see a bunch of people sulking in the background of power. Here the race is different. When the opponent is resting, he is blamed...when he wakes and try to roar, he is blamed some more...finally when he speaks, there is a tsunami of blames flowing. Things are accepted as they are without a word of protest, followed by a round of mild complaining, if responded with a dose to fight back, the complaints suddenly transforms into who-said-we-have-a-problem thing and if shown sympathy the mild complaints progresses to endless grumping which for sure ends with a We are ok verdict.

Did i ever think this to be a routine in our peaceful abode. No, never. Honestly speaking this is a serious issue (yeah, the one i wrote in above lines) with immense complexity attached to it. To say it or not, its affecting everybody associated with it. Why do we want others to say the same we want to hear. Even if we know it wont happen, why don't we put off the burning candle of hopes and expectations inside us. The warmth of expectations keep us comfortable for a while but what it's been abruptly put to an end. Is there an end to desires ?? Don't we sometimes expect too much ?? Too much from us, too much of it from others and then it becomes a habit. Habit of giving expectations through our words & actions and in return of coarse a multiple round of fulfillment of our own expectations. Even though we want the things to be in motion we have a problem with its gait. And plus, there are so many things which should have been said but are missed and many unwanted declared with authority.

There is no harm in doing all this. That's the way things have been done in past and trend is not yet changed. I am still too small to bring about a change or lets say talk about changes. They listen, nod in agreement and it ends. Earlier when i didn't see things closely, it didn't registered to my senses. However, last few months i have been tossed and torn by worldly affairs. I am hurt, yes, i am and there is no way out of this agony except for to let it pass. Or rather, i should be happy looking at the beaming faces who are dancing to their own marry-tunes. 

Meanwhile, I want to stay in peace, grow up to these realities, knitting my own space which would assure a fresh air and warmth of sun to me.

PS - Now i have created a mess here. Started with A, followed by M and ending with F. aarrggghhh....after reading this you ll definitely understand my position. Just like this post leaves you puzzled, i go off my balance everyday. 

Over and Above all

There are so many things, events, actions we see around which are over and above the intentions for which they are done or carried out. These things are somehow triggered by one's own values or is done to satisfy the heap of society expectations. There are many unwritten rules and guidelines which are to unnecessarily followed just for the sake of itz been done in the same way from ages ago. And since nobody dares breaching the established law we ends up mere puppets acting as per their modulations. And now the hold is so grave that we just can't let it go. It needs ample of spirit and fearlessness and sorry to say we are still slaves of "Log Kya Kahenge...."

One of the examples of such an event which we are fond of is - Marriage. Forget about the cruel cases of dowry or where are women considered dust of a male's feet. Lets talk about a decent indian wedding. Yeah, decent still exists and in aam-aadmi's established and recognized protocol it means - Searching for a family which doesn't demand - car, cash, house, gold, 3* wedding venue, caterers of their choice, who are educated and let their daughter work etc etc. So, a decent shaadi constitues (Bride-side version) - some gold for your daughter, gifts for groom, his family & extended families, renting a fancy hall for the shaadi (since they have not explicitly asked for it but who doesn't want), gold ornaments for parents of groom (again, they have not asked for it), small car lets say an alto, wagaon R (after all.....they didn't demand), enough cash to display (same reason as above), gifts for there own family & extended family (after all, they will be giving something for Kanyadaan), sangeet night in not-so-fancy-hall etc etc. And at the end they shield it behind "We are the lucky that they didn't demand anything. But that doesn't mean we do not do anything to maintain their honor. Every one expects, who doesn't. What if they would have asked for something at the last moment. We didn't give them any scope to complain or demand. Daamad ji is engineer after all. He chose our daughter in spite of attractive dowry packages offered."

I am a Rajasthani and has been a spectator to all listed above. Honestly speaking, before it all started in my family i too enjoyed going in marriages, loading myself with tons of calories, tasting and throwing away - of course being a guest itz my birth right. If not an active participant of bad-mouth group, i would't mind listening to that. Now being a part of the system or lets put it this way that now when it has come to my family funds i am awakening to a new "Real world" coming with a cost of several bylaws at a discounted rate. What to do, how to do, when to do is considered daily, in the background of it's agreement with :

The choice of Groom's family

Standards of society

and what are their own choices, forgotten some where or are lost enough to make any.

I, by default, become a part and parcel of such frequent instances. When subjected to it, I do not surrender by merely listening and waiting for a new showbiz of the biggest social drama. Though, i have come to a pact with the fact that even if i scream or threaten them to run away, this glossy sequence will go at its own pace. Helpless but won't spare an effort against it. In a rush to get everything perfect for those, attending for the sake of relishing a lavish dinner for free and dancing at the tunes of band, two angelic-innocent faces are buried who just look around with confusion albeit meekly smiling at times reminding themselves that "Itz their Day". 

Ever Brightening hues to stay forever.....

Evening of 2nd June, 2013 was spent welcoming new shades of my life. Some of it captured are :

Mehendi applied...i was very enthusiastic to see it getting designed though still could not learn it

After an hour it started leaving what it is applied for...itz COLOR

I was not happy with what i saw after spending 2 hrs cautiously :(

I go merry dance when i see this 3rd Morning :) Applying mustard oil and vicks vaporub during night really helps

Share your experiences while you anxiously wait for the mehendi to dry and leave a strong and everlasting color...i was restless waiting for it to turn out beautifully and it did :)

Pre Engagement-Post date deciding-Meeting

Its we two getting hitched for at least this life time , but the hyper-activity bug seems to bite both my mothers.

I am still reminded of our late night, free college hours building the castles of our "then assumed wedding" on my MOTO and his NOKIA. Now in complete settlement with the fact that "YES We are getting married without any difficult-to-fight hurdle or infact, without any hurdle to fight for :)" we two have taken the back seat for the engagement preparations.

The two ladies-in-power of their respective households and now in complete grip of we two harmless fellows are the happiest ones to take the front. Everyday i enter after my day's work i am welcomed with the latest updates from the other front and same is done with him over phone (he is missing every bit of the actions and expressions i am endowed with). And believe me, the quantum of irritation we both get into is directly proportional to the excitement level of the these two women because of several reasons of the gifts to be exchanged, photographer, our dress, my sister's dress, mamma z dress, venue and what not..

Meanwhile, we lil innocent faces keep listening with rapt attention and updating each other on the latest happenings despite of "Not to tell him/her" warning received.

We both have done enough of chats, dating, complaining, complimenting, preparing, planning, executing- is what i guess...the show is in our honor and simply being a spectator is best




..